A Miracle Can be More Than A Cure

A Testimony from Albert Soelistyo @ ICA Surabaya on Sunday, April 20, 2008

   One day in early April 2007, I woke up one morning and suddenly found out I had lost my voice. I needed to make an effort just to utter a few words.  My voice was weak, hash and unclear.  For the first few days we didn’t take it seriously. My wife said that it might be due to too much fried and hot food, and also I had been eating some durian and rambutan which according to the Chinese belief, will causes “heat”.  So I took some common medicine but my voice just didn’t come back. Then I went to see a doctor at one of the hospitals in Surabaya. After examining my throat the doctor’s expression became serious and she asked me to take a scan test at once which later revealed that I had a tumor in my throat. It pressed down on my vocal cord and make it unable to produce my regular voice. The doctor asked me to take another test to see if the tumor cells were malignant or not.  I took the test but the result could only be known the next day. So with a heavy heart and a numb mind I left the hospital. Another 24 hours had to pass before I could get the verdict. The doctor told me if it is a non malignant type of cancer, it is not difficult to cure. But if it is a malignant type, then I’ll be face-to-face with a serious cancer to fight. So there is a 50-50 chance.

That night I couldn’t sleep well. I kept asking whether this can be God’s sign to wake me up from a careless and undisciplined life. I was baptized in a Medan catholic church forty over years ago. My religious life is kind of up and down. There were times when I served for a few years as a member of the region of Mary which is a prayer group and also doing the work of visiting the sick and fellow church members who seldom come to mass again. I also continually served as a choir leader plus as a member of the church board. When I was about 45 my business prospered.  Besides having shares of few cinemas in north Sumatra, I also owned a small logistic firm and I got contracts from oil companies to be in charge of their transportation and food supplies. There were often times when I needed to entertain my clients, customs officers and Pertamina people, I took them for fooling around at night clubs and pubs. I thought maybe God used this cancer to wake me up and to repent from my previous sins. So I prayed hard that day and night prior to the disclosure of which cancer type I was suffering with. My wife, my daughters and son were informed of this and they joined me to pray for a good result of a non-malignant tumor.

The next day with a mixed feeling of confidence, trusting God would be on my side, and fear, I went to meet the doctor who already had the test result. She was kind and sympathetic when we met and tried to cheer me up by telling me that I’ve been given priority over the other waiting patients. Will it be good news or bad news?  Then she asked me whether I can afford to go to Singapore for treatment because an operation may be needed. I asked her, “is it malignant?” She said “yes, in fact the type of cancer is a fierce one and in medical terms with the name of ana plastic cancer.” The survival rate of this cancer is usually less than 6 months. Only 10% make it over 1 year. I thought I was hit by a punch from Mike Tyson and I felt my tears coming out. Only at this stage did I become aware of how serious my illness was. We stopped by a traveling agent and bought two tickets to Singapore. My daughter’s church friend, who is also the chief nurse of Mount Avernia Hospital, recommended that we see a famous surgeon by the name of Dr. Wong. We made an appointment and few hours later we were at his office.

After examining my throat and looking at all the scanning films I had taken before, Dr. Wong told me that my tumor is as big as a goose egg and suggested to take it out as soon as possible by operation.  If it was not taken out very soon it would block my food and even my breathing passages. He also said that the CT scan shows that the cancer cells had spread into my lungs. That very day I took blood, heart and kidney function tests and with a good result I was well enough to take the operation. The day of operation early in the morning a Catholic priest came to give me Holy Communion and last rites.  This was pre-arranged by the hospital under my request.  A few hours later I was rolled into the operation room. My wife and my daughters Rufina and Tilly and a few of her church friends accompanied me lying on a bed and rolling into the operating room. We said goodbye with prayers. The operation took six hours and was quite successful.   It finished at 8 pm and I was unconscious the whole night. The next morning when I woke up, I felt very uncomfortable.  There were 3 tubes connected to my body, one in the throat one in my arm and another under my body to serve as urine passage. So I often needed to hold my breath to prevent me from coughing. I was in that state of discomfort for 2 days and nights in the ICU room.

   Two days later I left the hospital and was allowed to go home. But Dr. Wong said I needed to come back to re check and take chemo for my affected lungs. We took time to survey and tried to gather as much information as we could while staying few days more in Singapore. We saw a few oncology doctors for second opinions. In the Singapore National Hospital, one famous lady oncologist told me that ana plastic cancer can not be cured but they can only prevent it from spreading further by chemo treatment. So I thought this was almost a hopeless case. She also suggested that I take chemo in my hometown. It’ll be much cheaper and will not make much difference as the medicine used would be the same and I’ll be in a more comfortable environment. We flew back to Jakarta and stayed with my son who suggested that I take chemo there.

One Sunday after the church service the pastor introduced me to a lady who was also a cancer patient.  She told me that she was treated not by chemo but with another alternative new method call “TACE” which is a treatment like chemo but different as it puts the medicine directly into the cancer effected area through a very thin needle tube that goes through the blood vessel into the lungs. I went to see her doctor as she highly recommend him saying that by “TACE” I will not suffer the side effects from chemo. I went through this operation 3 times, once in Jakarta and twice in Surabaya. Few months later from the CT scan report we found out that the cancer was the same and hadn’t spread.  I felt relieved.  But after another 2 months I began having difficulty in swallowing food again.  Doctor said I need another scan and they found out that the tiny cancer cells that was left unclean after the operation had grown and was blocking the food passage. I went back immediately to see Doctor Wong in Singapore and he said they could not operate again but can only treat it through radiation and chemo.

Through the period of medical treatments, I often prayed to God to keep me well and fit to go through them because during the CT scan radiation and tace operation I needed to lie still. It was difficult for me since lying down brought phlegm into my throat and it caused me to have the urge to cough. I had no other solution than to focused and pray. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didnt. I recall most vividly when I went through the TACE operation in Surabaya, the needle tube was hard to control and won’t go into the right spot as it moved close to my lungs. It failed once in Jakarta. I had so much discomfort that I prayed hard to God for mercy and help. But it still did not succeed, then in my heart I said “OK, God let Your will be done and I’ll bear with it. “At that very moment the doctor and nurse shouted with joy as the needle had entered into the right spot.

Keep believing Him. Trust Him. He is faithful and will do things for you. This later has formed my short prayer pattern and I often got comfort from my favorite bible passage, “Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light." (Matthew 11:29-30). I would thank Him for allowing me to be alive and well for another day and hope it is His will that I have more days more months and even one or two years to live.

I was born on the 27th of October 1937 so I’m 71 now. I often thought so many people died before they reached 70 and everyday young men and even small children die in the Middle East and Africa. And I’m prepared to submit to His call when the time comes. God has given me so much already and I sincerely feel grateful. My secret wish to Him is that He’ll give me time to repent, to be born again and so that I can face God with the belief that all my sins have been pardoned. I think my step into to ICA church is also a big miracle for me. Since I moved to Surabaya I attend a Catholic church and thought of contributing something, singing in the choir or other social activities. My daughter and son in law attend another Indonesia protestant church. For convenience sake my wife and I later went along with them. When and how it happen I can’t recall but later we found ourselves regularly attending ICA and I got to know Pastor Jeff over time.

Pastor Jeff was very sympathetic about my illness and told me that he and his church prayer group would often pray for me. Since my prayer is always “Thy will be done” I think their prayer to Jesus fervently asking for my recovery will do me good and God will listen to such a different angle of prayer. I like pastor Jeff a lot even though we just met and I can feel his concern for me is so genuine and warm. It was as though we have known each other for years and coming into his church I found my shelter. I was a good singer before but now I had no voice to sing anymore even though the songs were beautiful and touching during the church service. One time as the congregation sang a slow and beautiful song, I felt so much like singing along and praise God but no voice came out. I felt tears come down my eyes. I cried and thought “why can everybody sing except me?”. Then I felt a warm current rush into my chest as if the Holy Spirit come to give me comfort. To me that moment wasa small miracle.

      All through this one year period, my mind was never in a quiet place. I prayed and talked to God very often. As a cancer patient you are very lonely. You can’t share your inner feelings with other people so God is the nearest. I often get feedback or unanswered prayers from the Almighty God. All this time, I never blame God and I trust that He is a merciful God, and I believe He will let me have whatever is good for me. Even through this terrible cancer I think I can find answers that lay ahead in front of my path in my life. So this is the first miracle for me,  “although cancer destroys my body it has saved my soul and brought me closer to God.” Often I wondered why I had chosen to move to Surabaya in the first place. I think that too could be a small miracle as if He was sending me a small message that I needed more friendly circumstances to treat my cancer disease and that I needed to be closer to someone who will take care of me.

To close my testimony, I’d like to talk about my baptism on 19th of December last year. Feeling my body became weaker and weaker after a few cycles of chemo therapy, there was an urge, a feeling as if in a form of constant “call” that I must be baptized again with full body immerge in the water. I told Pastor Jeff about it and he said that he’ll gladly baptize me. I remember there was little shower when we arrived at the location. The rain then stopped to give us a cool and very pleasant weather. There were about 16 other brothers and sisters to be baptized together with me. Pastor Jeff arranged for me to be baptized last. Liz, Pastor Jeff’s wife, led a small choir to sing “Amazing Grace” for me. Since my body was weak and could not bear the cold water of the swimming pool, I wore my diving wet suit, I didn’t look trendy at all as I was thin and had little hair left on my bald head due to chemo side-effects. But surely I couldn’t be the only one baptized wearing a diving suit in this country. I gave my testimony and thanked God for guiding my steps from long long time ago until came to this day, to this place and receiving this awesome “Amazing Grace” to be baptized again.

After the testimony, Pastor Jeff slowly and gently held my head down into the pool. I told him I can stay long in the water as l was a diver before. I want to wash away all my sins and also repent from bad words I had said that hurt people and bad deeds I had done. When I came out, the brothers and sisters standing around the pool clapped their hands. Many of them were moved into tears. I raised my head to look at the sky. It was deep blue and beautiful. I had the feeling of the prodigal son in the Bible who came back to his father’s house and felt warmly welcomed. The baptism had released me from the burden of sin that I bore all this time. I felt totally released and forgiven. After this, I’m ready to meet my Savior Jesus Christ when the time comes. Amen. (20-04-2008)