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Making your small groups models of fellowship
by Steve Gladen ------------------------------------------------------------------------
Genuine fellowship helps us move from just sharing coffee and cookies
to being a safe community where we can be transparent with one another.
Steve Gladen
------------------------------------------------------------------------ Fellowship is a misunderstood purpose. People often think they're enjoying fellowship together when actually
they're only experiencing a small part of what fellowship is meant to
be. Too often, the parts that are missing are the elements of true
community. And Christian community is what provides the strong
foundation for living out all the other purposes: True community fosters discipleship. That's because when the people in
your small groups experience open, honest relationships together, they
have an easier time asking hard questions and challenging each other to
grow. True community fosters ministry. That's because when we care about one
another and we know one another's needs, it's easier to put love into
action. We don't hesitate to help. True community fosters evangelism. When we know that a small group
member is hurting over loved ones who don't know Christ yet, we're more
able – and more motivated – to pray for them to be saved. True community fosters worship. Those who experience genuine community
and unconditional love with one another are willing to be more
vulnerable. This includes honesty in worship. When we are part of true
community, we're apt to talk more openly to our friends and to
surrender ourselves more freely to God. The Bible offers its own reasons why Christian fellowship is so
important. Hear for instance what Hebrews 10:24-25 says: "Think of ways
to encourage one another to outbursts of love and good deeds. And let
us not neglect our meeting together as some people do. But encourage
and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back
again is drawing near." We tend to think of good deeds as being aspects of ministry. But
fellowship does indeed prompt outbursts of love and good deeds. Fellowship is the glue that keeps us in relationship with one another.
Ephesians 2:19, another key verse about fellowship, talks about how we
are members of God's family. It says, "You are no longer foreigners or
outsiders, but citizens together with God's people and members of God's
family." Godly fellowship enables us to experience true family. Genuine fellowship helps us move from just sharing coffee and cookies
to being a safe community where we can be transparent with one another.
Here are some simple but effective steps a small group in your church
can take to build this kind of fellowship and encourage genuine
community:
Offer new people a history of the group. Have everyone – including the
first-timers – share a little bit about their family and a few of the
activities they enjoy doing in their free time.
Provide ice-breakers. Sometimes the silliest questions or activities
are best. These help people get to know one another in a safe way. Celebrate milestones. Help foster community by celebrating birthdays,
anniversaries, long-awaited adoptions, and other special events in
people's lives. Celebrate victories. In addition to job promotions and other
achievements, make sure you celebrate spiritual victories and answers
to prayer. Plan an overnighter. Arrange for an "adults only" weekend or a family
getaway. The time spent together on an overnighter is equivalent to
three months of nightly group meetings. Host a "Fun Night." Instead of the usual study time, surprise the group
with a night full of games and fun. Such a change of pace is both
healthy and refreshing for the group. Institute a hot seat. Sit a person in the center of the circle and have
everyone shower him or her with heartfelt affirmation. Statements can
begin with, "You're important to our group because ..." Everyone needs
this kind of affirmation from time to time. Tell stories. Plan a brief activity that encourages face-to-face
interaction between members. This could be as simple as letting people
share a story from the heart such as when they got saved or engaged or
married. It could also be a time of sharing a personal story that is
relevant to the study. When people share about their personal stories,
community deepens. Pick up the phone. Follow-up calls strengthen community. When people
are absent from the group, call to check on them. If a prayer need has
been brought up, follow up to let them know you're still praying. Those
phone calls can go a long way toward affirming community. Be sure, too,
to call or send a card to people who attended your group for the first
time. Print a directory. A group roster is a simple but important tool for
building fellowship and fostering community. Make it easy for people to
connect outside of group time by sharing e-mail addresses and phone
numbers. Keep a scrapbook. It's very cool to be able to turn the pages of the
book and retrace the journey the group has traveled on together. Of
course, the person encouraging small group fellowship can find help
with this assignment. And maybe even be able to delegate it entirely to
another member of the group. Fellowship shouldn't be superficial and shallow. When genuine Christian
fellowship offers a safe context for knowing and being known, community
will result. And when a person with a vision for genuine Christian
community volunteers to build the fellowship of a small group, he or
she is choosing an exciting ministry opportunity. God – who wired us
for community and wants to see true fellowship occur – can and will use
that person in a powerful way to help people move beyond merely just
doing activities to becoming a community of brothers and sisters in the
Lord.
Steve Gladen serves as the pastor of small groups at Saddleback Church.
©Copyright 2006. All rights reserved.
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